Nollywood actress and TV host *Nancy Isime* has opened up about why she’s cautious about marriage and children, citing financial stability, childhood trauma, and the fear of repeating struggles she faced growing up.
“I Fear Raising Kids Without Money”
Speaking on _Tea With Tay_ podcast, Nancy addressed her views on family planning head-on. While she didn’t say she fears children directly, she made it clear she fears bringing kids into financial instability:
> “Marriage is not a poverty alleviation scheme but I don’t believe marrying a poor man can make you happy. When rent is due, school fees can’t be paid and there is no food in the house, it is difficult to have a fantastic life. I am not saying there is no love without money. But love and fantastic life are not the same”
She advised couples to attain “a reasonable level of financial stability before getting married and having children,” saying preparation reduces stress and improves family well-being.
Rooted in Childhood Trauma
Nancy’s stance comes from her own story. She lost her mother at age 5 and had a rough childhood. In a 2021 chat with BBC Pidgin, she revealed she suffered depression and attempted suicide as a child:
“Losing your mum at the age of five, you’re exposed to a lot of things you’re not supposed to experience. I started working at the age of 17… I used to daydream about working and making my own money and being independent”
Growing up in a “humble background where asking for anything was almost taboo,” she said she never daydreamed about weddings like other girls. Her dream was independence: _“I can’t wait to have my own money and do my own thing”_.
That lack + pressure shaped her fear of being unable to provide. She’s also a mental health advocate who goes for therapy, meditates, and works out to cope with the stress of acting/hosting.
Independence Over “Dream Wedding”
Nancy has repeatedly said marriage wasn’t part of her childhood dreams. On _Creativitea Live with Lynda_ she said:
> “When young girls sit down and daydream about getting married, I never did. I used to daydream about working and making my own money… I fear that I might not even have my dream wedding because what is a dream wedding?”
Her focus is building her own money so “nobody can take the position of ‘if not me, you won’t have this life’”.
The Bigger Conversation
Nancy’s comments sparked debate online. Some praised her honesty about financial pressure in marriage, especially with Nigeria’s economy. Others argued “love conquers all” and kids are blessings regardless.
What’s clear: for Nancy, the “fear of having children” isn’t about disliking kids. It’s fear of not being able to give them the stability, school fees, food, and peace she missed growing up. She’d rather wait, build, and heal first.
*Nancy’s Takeaway*: Love is important, but preparation matters when kids are involved. Heal, build, then build a family.
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